I really have no desire to win the lottery. The thought of it produces negative emotions. And now I think I understand why.
It hasn't always been like this. If you told me at age 19 that I was about to win the lottery, I'd have likely been really enthusiastic about the prospect. But, some of us grow up and we realize that it would likely only have a negative pull on our lives. To those of us who grow up having to earn a living and believe in the inherent honesty in doing so, you can't just flip a switch and begin to feel gratitude to a mysterious donor that has pledged to take care of you for the rest of your life. It leads you into a situation completely inconsistent with your character. And I don't think the innocent ideas of "oh, we'll just take care of a few bills" really pan out. I think it necessarily leads to worse things than that.
I should probably point out that, having a middle-class life, I'm not really wanting for very much. That's not to say there's no effort on my part in building such a character trait -- many people who have much more than me want so much more than I do, and I've often been subject to the temptations at various times in my life -- but you learn to keep it under control. As I said, you grow up. You learn to control your impulses and urges. You're human, and you can do it; because the ability to control our impulses and urges is one of the key distinguishing features that makes us human. But I still have to recognize that there are many people in our society just eking out a subsistence with no obvious way out, and I can understand the attraction of a lottery saviour. If they can be in that situation and not be wanting, they are better people than me in this regard.
But, back to my point. I think I now understand
why I have no desire to win the lottery. It's quite simple, really: I don't want to convenience myself any further than I already am because it'd be detrimental to my ability to deal with inconvenience, and life is unavoidably inconvenient and always will be, regardless of your fiscal stature. Daily living, I mean; not life itself. Money brings the temptation to increase convenience in your life and to optimize your circumstances. I need to increase, not decrease, my immunity to inconvenience.
I'm becoming more and more convinced that that's one of the cornerstones of a happy life: skillfully coping with inconvenience, rather than seeking to remove it. You build your immune system. If your immune system becomes deficient, the smallest infection can take you out.
As we are starting to see in contemporary life, we build our bodily immune systems by exposing ourselves to bacteria. We expose ourselves to harmless bacteria each and every day by simply going about our everyday lives. It's all around us. In doing so, our immune system is well-exercised in dealing with complications and, when a genuinely harmful germ or virus comes our way, it is all the more equipped to deal with it. If we stop exposing ourselves to bacteria by trying to decontaminate everything around us, we have seen that we slowly erode our immune system and get ill rather easily. Soon, we can't cope with the most trivial of germs and become a healthy equivalent of an HIV patient: any germ of significance knocks us off our feet.
And there's an analogy here in what we do when we try to continually remove inconvenience from our lives. The more we make our lives convenient, the more we reduce our ability to deal with inconvenience. We inhibit our psyche's ability to deal with things that we find annoying, and those annoyances that we are unsuccessful in removing become all the more annoying, effectively filling, if not overflowing, the gap left by the removed annoyances. As we raise our expectations about convenience, we become all the more aggravated when things don't go our way.
If I won the lottery, I think I'd use the money to try and remove the few trivial annoyances that remain in my life, and I think I'd become a worse person because of it. I'd probably move to a house with more land around it so that the little things about the neighbours that bother me weren't there anymore. I'd probably quit my job and sit around waiting for the perfect job opportunity to come along. And when I did find that job, I'd move closer to work so that I didn't have to deal with traffic jams and long commutes. In doing just these things alone -- and these are very basic things, from my perspective -- I'd reduce my exposure to the randomness that real people bring, and I'd probably end up becoming more and more
accustomed to things being exactly the way I like them. Effectively, I'd be slowly destroying my annoyance immune system. When something didn't go my way, I think it'd be five times as worse because I'd simply not be used to things going my way: I'd pay it to go away.
We've already seen the features of affluence lead to increasing stress in people's lives, yet we were led to believe that these things would make life easier. They don't. They temporarily relieve annoyance, and then people, given enough time, figure out how to make them annoying again. It seems to be a human trait.
SUVs let you sit above traffic until everyone has an SUV. Cell phones give you peace of mind that you're never alone until everyone has one and you're constantly reminded that you're never alone; and one day you forget it and can't find a payphone because they were deemed expendable. Cars let you cut down your commute time until everyone has one, and then it becomes feasible to adjust distances to utilize the new capability. But the acquisition, maintenance, and ownership of these things incrementally adds stress to our lives even though they ultimately never produce net benefit. They occupy mental space in our heads. Their operation causes mental friction. And we're made to feel like fools for sticking with them when the next new thing comes along. They are right of course -- we are fools -- but the correct remedy is not to become even more foolish and buy into what they're selling as a replacement.
Let's look more closely at cars and the annoyances they were responsible for alleviating. There used to be a time when car ownership was a status symbol. The poor people walked or took the tram, while the rich people got governments to build roads for them and took their personal transportation to their destination. We're now in a state where -- regardless of what is said about declining real incomes and increasing income disparity -- most people can afford to own and operate a car. And what does it really mean? Well, it means that we don't have to associate with people in our own communities anymore. We aren't obligated to associate with people that we don't want to deal with because the people we really like are only a car trip away. We aren't forced by conscience to take care of the people that live amongst us because we don't even know them and feel no connection with them. And so, we remove the random association with people that we don't like but who live next to us, and replace it with an association of convenience with people that live within car's length. And when the people we randomly happen to live next to annoy us, we can deal with it healthily far less than we could if we knew the person, knew their motives and lives, and cared about them simply because they were a part of our community. We have lost that aspect of life, and it's stressful because we've reduced our immunity to diverse negative experience.
The Internet has made the above problem worse because, not only are we able to associate with people that we like, but we are also able to easily search out and associate with people who are as similar to us as possible. We have the ability to narrow all of our discussions down to exactly what we're interested in, and the topics don't even have to be sane. We can hop from chat room to chat room, forging paper-thin "friendships" that we think are much more than they really are simply because the person on the other end seems so much like ourselves. But you don't really know them. You think you do, because you know yourself so well and they seem to much like you. But the topics of discussion are so narrow, and you only know and form a friendship with the parts of them that are most like yourself. On top of that, you hop in and out of the discussion when you feel like it, and can ignore their presence whenever it suits you. In doing so, again, you reduce your immunity to inconvenience and entropy.
And what else about the Internet, and the "information at your fingertips" that it pledges to bring? Can you imagine having to go and look at the library for the information you need these days, rather than typing it into Google and hoping to get lucky? What if you can't find the information on Google? Disappointment. The problem is that, as information becomes more accessible, we are less able to deal with the inconvenience of not being able to find what we want while, at the same time, we are expected to be able to do more simply because information is so easy to access. Making information easy to access is not simply meant to make information easy to access. It's meant to allow us to reach beyond our previous capability by removing an obstacle. If you use it simply to make your life easier, you are reducing your ability to deal with the inconvenience of it not working as you expect.
And, so, I think that if I won the lottery, I'd be far too tempted to remove annoyances and inconveniences from my life, and I really don't have many legitimate annoyances as it is. That's not what I need. I'd become a worse person, regardless of how pretty a smile I could give to the newspaper, and I'd ruin my immunity to inconvenience. What I do need to do, instead, is to learn to love entropy; to expose myself to more randomness in life; and to increase occurrences of the unexpected. If I won the lottery,
there'd be no way; and so I won't even play.
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